by Abhishek Mukherjee
Tiger' Lance was an excellent all-rounder even by South African standards (5,336 runs at 35, 167 wickets at 26, 101 catches in 103 First-Class matches).

Unfortunately, his career coincided with some outstanding all-rounders – Mike Procter, Eddie Barlow, Peter Pollock – which prevented him from playing more than 13 Tests.

He did not do great in these Tests either, but he made up for that by playing professional football (and some hockey).

Apart from his performances, what makes Lance stand out is his terrific sense of humour. His jokes and one-liners were famous. Here are some (the sources of most of these are Ali Bacher and David Williams).

Lance was making his Test debut. John R Reid was playing a dazzling innings under pressure, slamming 142 out of the 184 New Zealand got during his stay. So Lance turned to captain Jackie McGlew for advice.

McGlew: Keep it up to the bat and pray to God that he makes a mistake.
Lance: I can't. I think that's Him batting.

On the same tour, the manager asked the team to submit their two-rands-a-day pocket reimbursement claims. When asked about the duration for which they would be paid, the manager responded with "from the time you left home."

So Lance quipped "Good. I left home when I was eight."

Hugh Tayfield was a legend when Lance was still new to cricket. During a match against the Old Edwardians, Tayfield asked Lance to observe the batsman's gloves.

The idea was that if the right glove was more worn than the other one, he was a bottom-handed player who worked the ball to the leg-side. Tayfield was the kind of man who observed these things.

Lance did not quite figure out what Tayfield meant, so a few overs later, he informed Tayfield that the batsman was wearing 30-rand gloves made by Slazenger.

The Australians were 0-2 down when they reached Johannesburg on the 1966-67 tour. Ian Chappell batted grittily before hitting Trevor Goddard to Lance at point. Chappell asked Lance whether he had caught the ball.

"Yes," lied Lance. Chappell left.

Even the South Africans were not convinced. When pressed for an explanation.

Lance pointed out that Chappell only asked him whether he had caught the ball, not whether it had bounced first.

Lance was bowling in a club match. His Transvaal teammate Duncan Lindsay-Smith, at mid-off, did not bother to take those couple of steps forward as Lance walked in to bowl.

So Lance stopped, called Lindsay-Smith, and pointed at the sky. Lindsay-Smith obviously saw nothing when he looked up. Confused, he looked questioningly at Lance.

With his finger still pointed upward, Lance utter a solitary word: "Vultures."

On another occasion, a reserve wicketkeeper (Robbie Shimmin) had to be drafted in at the last moment. Shimmin bought a pair of expensive gloves (at 27 rand), but his glovework for the da was not the soundest.

Lance enquired about the price. Shimmin told him.

"Tell you what, for that price I wish they'd given us a 'keeper as well," shot back Lance.

One of Lance's teammates suffered from insomnia. When he told Lance, our hero responded with "you're lucky".

Looking at the blank expression, Lance continued: "It's a statistical fact that 90 per cent of people die in their sleep."

Gerald Innes was an off-spinner from Wynberg, not among the biggest South African cities. Lance's interaction with him remains a classic:

Lance: Gerald, you're the best spin bowler we've got in the country.
Innes: Oh Tiger, thank you so much.
Lance: Ja, it's a pity you came to the big city.

In October 2008, at the funeral of Lindsay-Smith, Lance told Bacher "hey doc, I think we better pad up; we're next."

Two years after the comment, Lance was hit by a woman driving on the wrong side of the road. His right hip was dislocated; there was internal bleeding in a lung; and the thoracic diaphragm got puckered.

Four weeks later he passed away.

For once, a one-liner that was not funny.

Tiger Lance was born on 6 June 1940.