by Arunabha Sengupta
“No matter how much you clean your gun, you’ll never be a soldier,” his superior in the army told him.
“Sir, no matter how much you oil your bat, you’ll never score a run,” he replied.
Autographing photographs of himself when in India with the Australian Services side, he noticed he was sporting a very marked five o’clock shadow on his chin in every picture. Hence, under his signature he started writing, “Always use Gillette.”
On that same Indian tour, when riots had broken out in Calcutta, Eden Gardens became ugly with demonstrators marching angrily onto the field. Hassett was standing at the far end of the pitch. He approached the leaders and asked, “Has anyone got a cigarette?” Never had anyone seen so many people fumbling in their pockets at the same time. Nor had anyone seen tension diffused so quickly.
When Dudley Nourse, the great South African batsman, came on board the Nestor to greet the Australians, Lindsay Hassett had greeted his rival captain, ““How are you, Dudley? I hope you’re not feeling too well.”
On the same tour, while visiting a Durban preparatory school, he encouraged the students to attend tour matches. “You can learn more from watching good cricketers play than you can from the average coach or from reading books,” he advisesd before adding, “When I come to the wicket, then you can have a snooze.”
During the 1952-53 tour, South African journalist Charles Fortune needed to freshen up after the day’s play to attend a dinner and does not feel like going all the way to the Glenelg Hotel. He requested South African captain Jack Cheetham for the use of the dressing room. The rules were strict and, fearing a precedent, Cheetham refused.
Dejected, Fortune repeated his request to Hassett. “Certainly Charles, you can do what you like to,” the Australian skipper responded. “Fill the ruddy tub with beer if you wish.”
Congratulated on a gracious speech after he had lost the 1953 Ashes in England, Hassett said, “Yes, not bad I thought myself, considering Lockie threw us out.” A cutting remark on Lock’s controversial action which, with 5-45 in the second innings, had contributed so much to England’s win. However, everyone laughed.
Even Bill O’Reilly used to be at the receiving end of his quips. After Hassett had edged him several times, the leg-spinner asked whether his bat contained a middle. Hassett s response was: “I don’t need one while facing you.”
And once he bent down, tapped the pitch and looked keenly at him before the start of play. When asked what he made of the wicket, he answered, “I have no idea, but it always looks knowledgeable.”
But there was no more astute judge of conditions and tactics. And not too many batsmen of such class. Hassett was nimble footed and one of the most flamboyant batsmen in his early days, and remained consistent, if somewhat reticent in his run-making, in his later years.
He missed a number of his peak years due to the war. But he did manage 3073 runs at 46.56 with 10 hundreds in 43 Tests. And as a captain he won 14 and lost just 4 of the Tests he led. Only Bradman, Steve Waugh and Mike Brearley have better win-loss ratios than him.
Hassett was full of fun, but he played to win. At the same time he could take every defeat with a laugh.
He was a joy to behold, because he never took himself too seriously.
Lindsay Hassett was born on 28 August 1913.